the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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