That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
