It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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