her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
