im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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