i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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