I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
