ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
