Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
