and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
