He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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