I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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