My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I could make wine with my vomit
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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