What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
