Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
