My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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