some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
