uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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