These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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