No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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