I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I would fuck him just for his dog
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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