I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize