We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
