NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
