I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
