brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
