i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
