I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
