Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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