I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
