Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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