it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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