bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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