sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
