Already got asked if we're dating
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
