I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This girl is more easily done than said...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I need a beard to bite.
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