We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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