What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
