If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
