Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
