his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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