yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
