Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
