I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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