I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
