to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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