Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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