all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
