I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
