we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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