I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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