Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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