Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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