I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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