wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
