and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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