I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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