Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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